


A call from the veil

by Dutch_Ace



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-16 22:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dutch_Ace/pseuds/Dutch_Ace
Summary: Dean locked himself up in his room, heartbroken by the death of his best friend. Then after a week of mourning, he hears a dark voice speaking to him. It’s the voice of the man he lost, clear as a bell. Like he is right there...





	1. Past regrets and future hopes

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on the song “Hurts like hell “ by Fleurie
> 
> I don't want them to know the secrets  
> I don't want them to know the way I loved you  
> I don't think they'd understand it, no  
> I don't think they would accept me, no
> 
> Posting another chapter every week. This is chapter one of three.

Laying on his bed, Dean felt the hole in his chest still burning at the edges. Visions of Castiel dying in front of him and laying on the cabin table, covered with a white sheet hounted his dreams for the past week. Sam was at a loss for words, when words were not enough to help his brother overcome this pain. The regret Dean felt for not saying anything to Cas ‘ vessel before he and Sam layed him to rest on the pire, was written on Dean’s face.  
This wasn’t the first time Cas died. But this time he didn’t have a snarky, worried retort like the other times. Because Dean knew somehow Castiel would come back to him. Now he was not so sure.

God didn't answer, as usual, leaving Dean defeated after praying to bring Cas back. Even Crowley’s sacrifice left a mark on Dean.  
The sound of shatterd glass being swept up from the floor broke Dean from his thoughts. He felt even more guilty to Sam for thrashing up the kitchen like that. But getting angry, with Lucifer, God, the world and even Cas was the only outlet Dean knew. He was never afraid to show his emotions in front of his brother, they both had no secrets to hide anymore. Only now the tears didn’t come, his body and mind felt numb.

Although he knew he had to get up and help his brother, Dean didn’t. Jack was there too; they decided to bring him to the bunker for his own safety. He and Sam bonded over the library books and Harry Potter movies during their stay. Unlike before, Dean didn’t know what to do about the whole nephilim situation, so they agreed to stay in the bunker untill they did.  
Music being the only solace Dean could manage in his solitude, was just the distraction Dean needed. Regardless of Sam’s plea to atleast join them for a movie or dinner.  
Every day Dean would go through the motions of getting up from his bed at noon to walk to the kitchen. Sitting at the table in an abandoned, cold space. He would grab from the fridge what was there and still edible, a beer in the other hand to wash it away.  
To return to his room again.

Not long after the first week went over to the next one, he thought he heard a voice calling him from a distance.  
“Dean?! “  
Silence.  
”Dean? Are you there? “  
A rush of pain almost threw Dean off the bed. His room was empty and his first instinct was to open the door to the hallway. If Sam or Jack were playing a prank on him, they sure would be sorry for it.  
But the hallway was empty too. He could hear Sam and Jack talk from the end of the hall, but this voice was as clear as day.

Returning inside, Dean fell onto his bed and closed his eyes. He must have imagined it, as exhausted as he was.  
A moment later, again he heard his name:  
“Dean? I know you are there! “  
His eyes flared open. ‘No, it can’t be? Cas is dead, I saw it in front of my eyes. We burned his body next to Kelly’s, like a hunters funeral ‘, thought Dean.  
“Cas?! “, he answered.  
Silence again.  
“I’m here, can’t stay long “, the familiair voice of the man he lost was saying with great difficulty.  
“Where are you? “, asked Dean right away.  
“I am.....I am in the veil “, responded Castiel after a few seconds.

Dean was confused and thrilled at the same time. ‘But how could Cas be in the veil? They both knew Billie’s warning. That breaking the contract between her and the boys had cosmic concequences. And that Cas ‘ death was just that. Wasn’t the ‘big empty ‘ a more logic place for Cas to be under these circumstances? ‘  
Dean could not overthink this too long, for Cas was there again.  
”How are you Dean?, Cas asked Dean, still struggling to reach through.  
“How am I? What kind of dumb question is that Cas! You died...right in front of me! How do you think I am? “  
Afraid he was scaring Cas off, he apologizes quickly.  
”I’m sorry Cas! Please don’t go! “  
Cas let Dean know he was still there.

The relieve Dean felt was washing over him like a warm blanket. Previous absent tears made their way down his right cheek. His lower lip quivered, waiting for Dean to say the words he never could. Something Cas had already said to him when they thought he was dying the last time. Words which weighed heavily on Dean’s heart but were in dire need to come out....


	2. A long way down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean works a job in a church alone, a day after he heard Cas' voice for the first time. Back in the car Dean get's a surprise visit and wants to pick up where they left off. But Cas has other plans...
> 
> This chapter is a little but longer than I expected ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration to this chapter was the song "A long way down" by Lloyd Cole:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6VEZtlCJsA
> 
> Lyrics:  
> https://play.google.com/music/preview/Tgxq5j7vhdbb6dnigwctvxyd5c4?lyrics=1&utm_source=google&utm_medium=search&utm_campaign=lyrics&pcampaignid=kp-lyrics&u=0#  
> Note: there is no Destiel fanvideo of this song. So any AV wizzards who can make that happen? :-D

With a sharp right turn Dean drove his Impala into Broadway street of Concordia. It was already late in the afternoon; Sam and Jack are at the morgue for an investigation on the body of a man who died after taken a Holy Communion. Because he was the only one who died of the church attendees who attended the service, it caught Sam’s interest.  
So a job came on Sam’s radar about a case of “death by holy Eucharist “, as Dean call’s it.  
Losing the connection with Cas the night before, before he had the chance to say those three words burning in his throat, Dean throws himself on the job at hand. The silence filling his room was too much for him to bear. A bottle of Scotch on his bedside table was empty when he woke up the next morning. 

Dean pulled over to the side entrance of the Episcopal Church of Epiphany, where a on a news website Sam read, happened a mysterious death. Getting out of the car, he straightened his fake agent suite and walked along a small path to the red front door of the church building. Hands shaking and visible nervous he walkes the 4 steps to the door.  
This was his first job alone since he lost everything. Since the last shred of hope he had, of fighting whatever was coming had left him.  
Sam wasn’t sure if he should let Dean do this part of the job alone, but Dean said he would be glad to be away from Sam’s apologetic face.  
The right red door was open so Dean gathered all his strength to walk in. Walking into the house of the Lord after his last rand to God, was not Dean’s favourite thing to do.  
The church was empty, with a red carpet down the middle and dark brown church benches on each side. The upper chandeliers were not lit but small lights on each wall were. On the back right corner of the church was a steal construction with several rows of small lit and unlit candles. The ones you pay for, to light for a deceaced loved one. Dean was drawn to the small candles and walked over. There was a heavy scent of incense hanging around the church hall.  
“Can I help you “, asked a man in a light voice from behind. It startled Dean for a moment but he could recover quickly.  
“I’m detective Santana of the county sheriff’s department. I’m here on the invesigation of the death of James Whyley, a member of this church “, Dean answered by holding up his badge.  
“Well, yes ofcource “, replied the man. “I am Father Jonah. How can I help? Tragic loss of a beloved church member “.

Dean asked the Father several questions about mister Whyley and the fact he was an ex-convict of the Cloud County jail across the street.  
“I was standing beside the communion table over there, giving Holy Eucherist after the service. Mister Whyley didn’t take the Holy bread and wine because he wasn’t baptized yet. But became unwell on his way to his seat “.  
“What happened after he returned to his seat? “, Dean asked.  
Father Jonah looked persive. “Other members of the service rushed to his aid and I went to the back, to call 911. But by the time paramedics came, mister Whyley, James, had died “.  
A new sense of grief pursed through Dean and made him step back. He closed his eyes for a second by the memory of Cas dying before him.  
“Sir, are you all right? “, asked Father Jonah. Dean resumes himself again.  
“Sorry, I am alright “, Dean replied.  
“I saw how you reacted to my testimony of James’ tragic death. Did you loose someone yourself? “, asked Father Jonah.  
Dean ignored Father Jonah’s question and asked if he could see the chalice and bowl that the Father used for the Holy Eucherist.  
“It is okay to mourn detective Santana. Especially when you blame yourself for his death “.  
Dean flinched by Father Jonah’s statement. ‘How could he know the person he lost was a man? Did the priest have ESPN? ‘, thought Dean.  
He didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Standing by the Communion table Father Jonah took the chalice off the table and looked straight to Dean.  
“I know what happend to your persious angel Dean. He is dead because of you. Not only hell but heaven rejoiced in his demise “, as Father Jonah's eyes turned black as cole.  
A sence of anger and fear struck Dean, knowing too well what was happening. He was talking to a priest who was posessed by a demon, oh the irony!  
“You shut up! You evil son of a bitch! “, shouted Dean while reaching behind his back where he put Ruby’s knife under his belt.  
But before he would kill the demon, he contemplated to perform an exorcism on the priest but Dean was too tired to remember the words.  
A jolt to his forehead knocked the thought right out of him; the priest had hit Dean with the red wine filled chalise.  
“Son of a Bitch! “, Dean shouted and stumbled backwards. The red wine dripped over the right side of his face, onto the virgin white shirt. A fight between Dean and the posessed priest followed, which Dean won in the end.

Back in the impala, with the sky turned dark as the night was beginning to fall, Dean breathed heavely. Turning on the engine, he felt a sharp pain in his right hand and knuckles.  
A small dried up stream of blood had dripped from his forehead to his ear.  
Numb from an aching body, Dean turned on the radio. A chorus of violins filled his car, as Dean revved the impala to make a turn.  
After a few second of howling strings Dean tried to change the chanel but an electric shock pinched his hand.  
“What the...! “, Dean yelled.  
Whatever he did, the knob of his radio system didn’t budge. He had no choice but to listen to the song, as he was driving home to Lebanon.  
“Didn't I hear you say your heart's made out of steel  
no one's gonna get so close, no one's gonna know how you feel  
now you're a punch drunk sycophant, a little s.o.b.  
you say your mind is made up, isn't that the way that it's supposed to be  
and it's a long way down  
and it's a long, long way down “

When the song ended the radio went silent, just like that. Confused Dean tapped on the display. Seconds passed before a voice spoke to him:  
“Hello Dean “.  
Gripping the wheel of Baby, Dean huffed out a loud sigh and dropped his head.  
“Cas! Don’t do that! I almost swirled towards a ditch! “  
“I’m sorry Dean “, Cas ‘ voice answered.  
Dean looked around in the car but besides him, Baby was empty.  
”Wait...was that you with the radio just now? “, Dean asked after a moment of silence.  
“I have watched you in the bunker Dean, you shouldn’t be so hard on Sam. And especially not on Jack. I am here, whether you can see me or not”, Cas replied.  
Tears from crippled emotions languished behind Dean's eyes.  
The only sound Dean could produce was a soft shallow breath. He didn’t understand how Cas could be in the veil, after the warning Billie gave before Cas killed her.  
He was still holding the wheel with pinched hands without noticing. Slowly Dean pulled over the car on the right side of the road, turned off the engine but left the lights on.

“Dean...you can let go. I have learned to manage to stay longer “, Cas told Dean in his dark husky voice.  
“What happened to your hands? And your head is bleeding! “, Cas went on. He did his best to break through the veil so Dean could see his silhouette  
“It’s nothing “, said Dean, swallowing the lump that was build up in his throat.  
“I wish I could make it better. Relieve you from the pain you feel. Not only your physical pain “, Cas replied softer.  
“What would you do if you where here, really here I mean? “, Dean asked.  
Cas didn’t reply right a way, the silence between them could be cut with a knife.  
“I would take your right hand and kiss your painful knuckles, then I gently kiss the palm of your hand “.  
“Why is the top of your blouse red? “, Cas asked confused.  
Dean lets out a soft laugh.  
“Red wine. The priest in the church had a bad aim “.  
“I don’t understand “, Cas replied.  
“Never mind. It’s just a stain. I’ll wash it later “, said Dean.  
Dean then felt a slight tug on the first button of his shirt and his tie being loosen. Followed by a soft air striking behind his ear.  
“What are you doing? “, asked Dean puzzled.  
“I am trying to kiss the red wine of your neck “.  
“Wait! The wine could be poisoned! “, Dean called out.  
Cas pulled his face back from Dean’s neck and smiled from the corner of his mouth.  
“I don’t think that will be a problem Dean...because I am already... “.  
Before Cas could finish his sentance, Dean interrupted him. Head and shoulders dropped down, new tears where building up.  
“Please Cas...please don’t! “  
“I am sorry Dean, I didn’t mean to... “, said Cas with a vibration in his voice.  
Leaning back against his seat and removing his tie completely, Dean asked Cas again to show him how he would take away Deans pain.  
“After I lick the red wine down your neck, I would kiss the tears from your eyes onto your jaw line, to the corner of your mouth “.  
Cas gently cupped Deans face as he set on Dean's lap, facing him. Hearing Dean’s heartbeat accelerate Cas closed his eyes.  
”I want to kiss you back so badly “, Dean said aloud.  
“Then do... “, replied Cas.


End file.
